Horsefeathers The Volcano

We hope it’s obvious this is our FAKE listing. Go to Google for details. Come on down, get yourself a seat next to the pizazzleator, ring the Menkin bells, dance the Mamushka! Oopen 60 minutes each week so come early ... and you'll need our secret code to get to the fun stuff. Mention "squanch" to Themzigs, our keymaster, for entry to Inner Ververtium! Entry fee includes viewing of our "Fórn meyjar" [Sacrifice of the Finnish Virgin] and all we can tell you is that it is NOT a painting! Planning your visit remember the following. Violation of any rules will result in Eternal Banishment to the Pit of Slurpie. 1. No one under 12 is allowed in the store. 2. No one over 150 centimeters is allowed in the store. 3. If it is below 50 degrees, we are closed. 4. No one over 13 is allowed in the store. 5. If it is above 10 degrees Centigrade we are closed. 6. LEASHED caterpillars are allowed. No more free caterpillars. 7. Level B and above HazMat suits are required [CLICK HERE FOR MORE …]